Today's Blog Explosion Poem

Same rules as always. Click here if you don't know what this is.

It's not as if Pluto is going away.
In the end I gave in and waited till it was out of earshot one day.
This is exactly why I love the YouTube phenomenon.
It's a pity things didn't work out in your favor at AOL.
I am not partisan of any of the two parties!
Well I may be able to update more often...knee surgury....
However, there isn't any evidence to prove this yet... :P
And back in the day, when I was a kid my parents didn't let us have much soda
Your comments please.
But part of it had to do with learning to see in the dark.

PSPs and Terrorism?

I have a PSP. I live in the metro Washington area. I've even parked on Constitution Avenue late at night a few times, and I could imagine a scenario where, at some point, I could be playing a PSP in my car on Constitution Avenue at night.

I never thought that could make me a suspected terrorist.

Bush's Katrina Hoax

Stop me if you've heard this one... A man drive's his "FEMA trailer" from New Orleans to the White House hoping against all hope to see the president. The president meets with him for dinner, they have a grand old time..........

Except that the whole thing was a big fucking publicity stunt. The "Katrina Victim" was a very successful businessman and former Republican candidate; the "FEMA trailer" wasn't a FEMA trailer, and the "Katrina victim" was invited to the White House.

Lovely.

Today in Bigotry

Apparently Pat Buchanan was a bit jealous of all the attention Mel Gibson and George Allen have been getting, and he want's to reclaim his rightful place as supreme bigot. Mr. Buchanan (shown here with pie on his face) has been making the rounds promoting his new Mexican-hating book. And it's full of doozies.
Essentially, he wants a to stop immigration from Mexico because "The civilization that we as whites created in Europe and America could not have developed apart from the genetic endowments of the creating people." Furthermore, he went on Hannity and Colmes to state that "Many Hispanics, as a matter of fact, you know what culture they are assimilating to? — the rap culture, the crime culture, anti-cops, all the rest of it."

Think Progress hands Pat his own ass by comparing his statements to statements made in previous generations about other immigrant groups.

Speaking of bigotry, I hate to keep going back to Mel, but I have to for two reasons... One, this lovely beer label I created on the right, and, two.... the funniest thing I've read on the whole incident. Over at slightlydrunk.com, there's a hilarious rant about the bad name Mel has given to the drunkards of the world. Despite what my picture suggests, antisemitism doesn't come in a bottle. From the rant.... "You see I have been waiting patiently for a formal apology to be forthcoming to all of us 'drinkers' of the world since his ignorant & bigoted words did a great deal to harm our mangy, ill-favoured group, as it has been insinuated by a number of media outlets that the alcohol was the main root cause of all this trouble. That is just so wrong!" Classic!

I don't get it.

What's wrong with a

striptease funeral?

Steven Wright Quote of the Day

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
Steven Wright

I mostly posted that quote because I'm practicing playing around with HTML. Pretty nifty, eh?

Remodeling the Blog

As you can see, I've been making some tweaks to my blog. I've mostly changed the color scheme, and I've made a few other small changes. This involves going into the HTML code and playing around to get things right, and my programing skills aren't exactly top notch. Things aren't quite how I want them, so pardon the mess for the next few days while I try to get things right. If you use a browser other than IE, I apolgise as well if things are a little off. I plan on at least taking a look at the blog on Mozilla but haven't had a chance yet.

Paris Hilton... The Next Kevin Federline?

That's right... It seems that K-Fed is not the only one who's a bit overconfident about his musical prowess.

Enter Paris Hilton.

Here's the statement, straight from the whore's.... er... horse's mouth:

I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it's so good.

I, like, will believe it when I see it.

Who's musical career will last longer?

Hers....



or his....



or should we hold out for the debut album from this guy?



Damn it! Those Kirk Cameron pictures just keep sneaking onto this blog.

An All Virginia Post

This post is dedicated to my current home state of Virginia.

First, did you hear our state climatologist is saying that global warming is a myth? Problem is, we don't have a state climatologist.

And next, some news about Crazy State MVP candidate George Felix Macaca Allen.

Yesterday, Kos had a post about bills G. Felix has introduced as a U.S. Senator. It doesn't surprise me that he is beholden to special interests. But I never knew he would be so intertwined with the small-household-appliance industry. He basically thinks we should lift the tax on all of them. Electric knives, toasters, ice shavers, you name it.

Today, some good news on the Senate race.... G. Felix's lead has shrunk to three percentage points.

Liz Kelly copies my blog...

What's up with this?

At 9:16 AM this morning, I wrote this:

But that was like Vanilla Ice without the talent. Yeah, you heard me.

At 10:48 AM this morning, Washington Post gossip columnist Liz Kelly wrote this:

K-Fed reminded us of no one so much as an untalented version of Vanilla Ice. Yes, you heard me.

Sure, the Vanilla Ice observation was obvious, but the "Yes, you heard me" is a pretty direct copy of my blog.

To the Washington Post, I'll consider any offers you send me to be the new gossip columnist at your fine publication.

Lunchtime for Hitler

I'm not even going to comment on this. Just read it for yourself.

The Return of Federblogging

Well, last night was a momentous night for Kevin Federline.

As you might recall, K-Fed claimed the initial song that appeared on his Myspace page was a joke:

"At first, when I put out PopoZao, people were kinda laughing at me. I did it on purpose so people would look at me exactly the way they did. "That way, when I come out with my real s**t, people are f**king blown away."

So last night, K-Fed made his big television debut on the Teen Choice Awards, and as a duty to you, my loyal The Nose Knows readers, I flipped back and forth to the Teen Choice Awards so I could catch the performance.

Man, was I fucking blown away.

Ok, actually, it sucked. I'm not saying he won't sell albums, because teens are quite stupid. But that was like Vanilla Ice without the talent. Yeah, you heard me. VANILLA ICE without whatever shread of talent he had. Terribly written song, terrible performance of it, and... I would go into detail as to why it sucked, but it's not worth my time. It just sucked.

Justin Timberlake can breathe a sigh of relief.