Accepting Dara's "Five Song" Challenge

So today Dara posted her Five Songs- that is, She listened to 5 randomly selected songs on her MP3 player and blogged about them. She challenged others to do the same. Today at lunch, I accepted her challenge. I intended to listen to five songs on my iPod, but it ended up being seven... I explain then as the post goes along.

First, a little background. I bought my iPod, used, about a year and a half ago on Ebay. It came with a bunch of music already on it. I'm pretty sure the iPod must have been shared by an adult and a kid, but I think most of the music was the kid's. I've deleted some of the really hideous stuff, but alot of it remains. So when I put my iPod on shuffle, alot of it's going to randomly appear. In addition, I have alot of stuff that I've burned from friends that I don't even know is on my iPod. So, without further delay, here's the list.

Squirrel Nut Zippers - "Danny Diamond"

I'm not sure how this one got on my iPod, but I like it. I think this was the first time I've ever heard it. I do like the Squirrel Nut Zippers in general... "Hell" was a very fun and creative song. I like them because they're basically a swing band, yet they're much quirkier and often rather dark. This song has a female singer with a rather sultry voice. It would work well in a film noir.

Nelly - "Hot in Herre"

Oh my... of all the songs to randomly show up on shuffle. Seriously, I could make a whole blog post, a long one, about this song alone. And, in case you're wondering, yes, I did put this one on my iPod myself. I LOVE this song and I'm not afraid to admit it.

I remember the first time I heard it... a friend was visiting from out of town and she brought some other friends with her. We were walking to a bar and they were singing the famous line... "It's getting hot in herre, so take of all your clothes... (I am, get-ting so hot, I wanna take my clothes off).... I had never heard the song, but somehow knew I wanted to. Then, later that night at the bar, the song played. My god. I knew instantly that it was going to be a HUGE hit. Not only did it have some of the ballsiest lyrics you'll ever hear, it was extremely catchy and extremely well produced.

Next....

Bob Marley and the Wailers - "Three Little Birds"

Another great song. Bob Marley always makes me so happy. When I was in high school, the first spring day that it was comfortable enough to do so, I'd almost always drive around with my windows rolled down, listening to Bob.

"Three Little Birds" is one of his better songs, too. Sheer optimism. How much more straightforward can you get than "Don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing's gonna be alright?" Repeated throughout the song. This song is like "Don't Worry, Be Happy" but a thousand times better.

Jon Brion - "Eternal Sunshine for the Spotless Mind - Theme"

I forgot this one was on my iPod. I think I burned this one from a friend. A nice score from a great movie. There was so much to love about that movie that I wouldn't have even thought to mention the score if I was listing them. But it's a pretty great score nonetheless.

So things were going pretty good... I'd liked all 4 songs so far. "Only one more to go," I thought. But then....

Usher - "Seperated"

NO!!!!!!!!! Hey, Usher's made some ok music, but this crap is not it. This is a terribly written love song that came on my iPod when I got it, and I'd never heard it before. First, Usher has a whiny quality to his voice that is frequently found in R&B, and I hate whiny R&B. This song belongs on the wussiest songs of all time list. Actual lyrics from the song include "If love was the light, we'd be lost in the dark" and "If love was a sport, we're not on the same team." Dear lord.

I couldn't end my five songs on such a bad note. So I decided to add a sixth song....

Destiny's Child - "Bootylicious" remix

I have mixed feelings about Destiny's Child, but "My body's too bootylicious" is a line that set our culture back several years. This was a remix I'd never heard before, and it had a sample from, I think, a Stevie Nicks song, which made it a little more interesting, but I had to add another song.

Elvis Costello - "Imagination (Is a Powerful Deceiver)"

Phew! A song good enough to end on. This song is from the album "My Aim is True," one of my favorite CDs of all time. There are better songs on the album, but this is a good song nonetheless. Elvis at this stage in his career reminds me of Billy Joel, but I think he might have been even better than Billy Joel. Note to Twyla Tharp: Please don't ever make an Elvis Costello musical/ballet.

So that's that. Back to work!

Damn... I'm wearing the wrong shoes for an apocolypse.

From Media Matters, CNN is reporting on the apocolypse as if it's real.

And one of the guy's they're interviewing, is Jerry Jenkins the author of the "Left Behind" series of books, which are wildly popular fiction based on the Book of Revelations.

The "Left Behind" books have been turned into movies starring......

you guessed it.
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Crap! I just blogged about Kirk Cameron for the second time this month. Maybe the apocolypse IS here!

But I'm with Atrios. The Flying Spaghetti Monster deserves equal time on CNN.

Disclaimer: I DO NOT believe in a Flying Spaghetti Monster. The monster merely glides, giving the appearance of flying, and that's angel hair pasta, not spaghetti.

Periodic Table of Condiments

Yesterday, Debby sent me a link to the Table of Condiments That Periodically Go Bad.

If the table is accurate, I have some worchestershire sauce, chili sauce, stir fry sauce and pearl onions that desparately need to be throw out.

One point of contention though... It doesn't take hollandaise a day to go bad. Hollandaise is terrrible the instant it's created. Blech.

Internet '96

Joe's got a link to what the internet looked like in 1996. God, those are some awful sites by major corporations. Pepsi.com is particularly hideous.

My thoughts on Clerks II (and Kevin Smith in general)

Kevin Smith is a director who can basically do no wrong in my book.

Clerks, if I made a list of the funniest movies ever made, would probably be somewhere in the top 10. It's a masterpiece. In fact, I'd say Kevin's made three movies that are at least borderline-great movies. I loved Chasing Amy when it came out and even if I don't have as strong a feeling for it now, it's a very good movie. Dogma's kind of the opposite: I didn't like it as much when I saw it, but I love it now. Whenever I come across it on Comedy Central, I almost always watch a few minutes.

Mallrats and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back are enjoyable in a kind of lighter way... not much to them, but very fun nonetheless.

Heck, I even liked Jersey Girl. The movie wasn't well received, but as it was a major plot point in the Ben Affleck/Jennifer Lopez tabloid mess, it was doomed from the get-go. I found it enjoyable and kind of sweet.


So where does Clerks II fit in?

Clerks, Chasing Amy, and Dogma are better than

Clerks II, which is better than

Mallrats, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl.

That is to say, even if Clerks doesn't rise to the level of the top Kevin Smith movies for me, it's also more than just an average-likeable-lightweight comedy.

Dante and Randall are the two best characters Kevin Smith has ever created. While the movie wasn't as tight as the original Clerks, the characters once again are a ton of fun. The pop culture references (especially regarding the Lord of the Rings movies and Transformers) are a riot, the sexual humor, even when gross, is great, and even if it was a little over the top, I have to admit I laughed at the donkey humor.

I also thought the relationships between the characters were strong. Obviously between Dante and Randall, but also between Dante and Becky (played by Rosario Dawson, who was kind of a revelation to me), and there were some great exchanges between Randall and Elias, another employee of the fast food joint where Dante and Randall now work.

Dara said the movie was good, not great, and I think that's fair, even as my recommendation is a little stronger than hers. She agrees 100% with the Salon review.

I agree about 90% with the Salon review. I take issue with this line:

It rambles into sentimentality, and it doesn't need to -- the movie is more affecting when the characters are just cracking jokes.

Nah. I like it when Kevin Smith gets sentimental. The relationship between Dante and Becky, which is all about sentimentality, worked very well. Also there's a scene, in prison, involving Dante, Randall, Jay and Silent Bob that was very well written and very sentimental.

So if you've seen Kevin Smith movies and liked them, go see this. And if you haven't... good God! Go rent the first Clerks today!