Crazy State Power Rankings
So after much consideration, I've decided it's silly to have a One-time Crazy State Contest. I think what is more appropriate is something more along the lines of ESPN's power rankings. Where I rank all 50 states in order or craziest to least crazy, and it's subject to change whenever I feel like it. I'm not going to rank all 50 right now, but here's my preliminary top 11.
1. Kansas
No one has suceeded yet in convincing me that any state is crazier than Kansas. Is this completely subjective on my part? Yes. But this is my list and I reserve the right to be completely subjective.
2. Missouri
There was a strong lobbying effort to put Missouri on top, and it came close. The recent effort to make Christianity the official state majority relgion didn't hurt it's cause either. But the state is still home to the Cardinals, and I'm still letting it off the hook.
3. Florida
I mean, come on. This state almost singlehandedly brought our country into a Constitutional Crisis, it contains Katherine Harris's make-up, and we had to sit through the whole Elian Gonzalez fiasco a few years back. Florida has a legitimate shot at taking over #1 some day soon.
4. Virginia
Besides the fact that any state willing to let me live in it must be crazy, this state has Jerry Falwell, voter fraud scandals involving pork rinds, and the Capitol of the Confederacy.
5. South Dakota
Definitely a strong, late entry to the list. In fact, South Dakota has a legitimate shot at becoming, in 2006, what Kansas was in 2005. I imagine some Christian fundamentalists are already make plans to move to this legal-abortion-free zone where they'll feel more comfortable.
6. Texas
Do I really need to state a reason, beyond the obvious?
7. Oklahoma
Again, this is completely subjective. I just feel Oklahoma's craziness in my soul.
8. Pennsylvania
Definitely would have been higher last year. But the Dover School Board's been voted out, Terrell Owens is likely on his way out of the state and Rick Santorum may soon be gone as well.
9. Ohio
Because they're REALLY trying to become the next Florida.
10. California
It's all about Governor "Jingle All the Way."
11. Maryland
As a Northern Virginia resident, I have to mention Maryland, right? Well, Jeff, a Marylander friend of mine, provided me the state's decidely anti-Union State Song relic, still around from the Civil War.
5 Comments:
Nice blog, bookmarked.
If I read the sixth stanza of "Maryland, my Maryland" correctly, do I understand that it contemplates the invasion of Virginia?!?
(Of course, this nearly became a historical reality and was one of the reasons for the trashing of the Articles of Confederation for the Constitution...but to keep it in a state song?!?)
In defense of CA, Minnesota came before with their WWF guv.
Thanks for making Florida #3. Any state that fought so long and hard for baseball and is willing to let it leave for someplace crappy like San Antonio or Norfolk deserves as much.
Even DC fought harder.
But, in Virginia's defense (?), they still have Pat Robertson, his broadcast empire, and the Christian Coalition.
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