The "My State Is Crazier than Yours" Contest
Here's my new contest... In the comments section below, provide evidence that your state is full of backwards wackos. At some undetermined point in the future, I will determine the state that wins. I have to tell you upfront, it will take some convincing not to give the award to Kansas. And I say this as a resident of Virginia.
I've been thinking about this contest for a while, but it came to mind again today when I saw this story about Missouri. Is Missouri trying to make gains on Kansas in this contest? Maybe, but I can think of one reason I might let Missouri slide.
So I look forward to reading your entries. Don't hold back! Tell me why your state sucks!
posted by Justin S. @ 3/03/2006 10:38:00 AM
14 comments
14 Comments:
Pennsylvania... not a bad call. Santorum and the Dover school board is a good double whammy. But the Dover school board at least got voted out. Let's see if the same happens to Santorum.
pooleside beat me to it. We in Pee-Ay are Cra-Zy.
More reasons:
$60 a year to have my Civic emissions tested. Soot-belching beaters and diesel trucks are exempt.
The state owns the liquor stores, most of which are closed Sundays.
The roads. Yes, we all know about the freeze-thaw cycle and the heavy truck traffic. But why do so many roads get better literally when you cross into Maryland or Delaware?
Sorry, PA is instantly disqualified by the fact that you guys dealt the decisive death-blow to Intelligent Design, not only in the courtroom but in the voting booth as well.
And citing bad roads when South Dakota just voted to make abortion illegal? Weak.
Up here in MA, though, we fare no better. I mean, we've got Mitt Romney, but he's not even up for re-election. And I think the McGovern vote in 1972 has disqualified us for life or something. We can't even get past the qualifying round up against powerhouses like Kansas or Texas. Even relatively lightweight regional nutty states like NH and VT knock us out.
As a Virginia resident, I feel obligated to say "Virginia, of course!" Gov Kaine aside, we have
Emmett Hanger who aparently thinks rape is a sexual crime, and would castrate rapists, enabling them to be free to rape, but not impregnate.
http://www.wric.com/Global/story.asp?S=4444243
We have Cosgrove, who wanted bill that would have made it a crime for a woman not to report a miscarriage.
http://democracyforvirginia.typepad.com/democracy_for_virginia/2005/01/lesgislative_se.html
We have Virgil Goode, who wants to fence off Mexico, and really deserves 2 links.
http://www.opensecrets.org/politicians/contrib.asp?CID=N00002167&cycle=2004
http://www.dailykos.com/tag/virgil%20goode
We have vote sales in the deep southwest, possibly for beer, cigarettes, or bags of pork rinds.
http://www.google.com/search?q=pork+rinds+appalachia&start=0&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official
We have George Allen, being spit comb groomed for pres.
Gaack. I can't go on. Virginia, bubba, Virginia.
I was born in Indiana (Dan Quayle, state legislature once tried to make Pi=3.2 or something like that), went to college in Kentucky (Ten Commandments everywhere, insane blue laws, Baptist churches splitting over how many Sunday school classes to offer), and spent the past eleven years in Ohio (Megachurches, Ken Blackwell, and MC 62-Ft. Jesus).
I'm happy to live in Massachusetts now.
WF
Florida. No debate.
Oh it's Missouri (pronounced "mi-zuhr-RA" outside metro St. Louis), allright. In an odd way, my adopted home state is a microcosm of the country as a whole. Its two "coasts" (STL and KC) are tiny blue dots on an otherwise very red map. We elected a Republican governor who looks and acts like a thirteen-year-old. His administration is as corrupt at the one in D.C. (his dad is Roy Blunt, after all) and he's currently polling at 33%, which makes him the 46th most popular governor in the country. He periodically wigs out completely about the fact that we continue to allow women to have sex without subsequently having a baby. I love STL and our neighborhood, but most of the rest of the state is wacky beyond belief.
A good friend of mine arrived in MO from the east coast to find himself in Jefferson City to take the bar exam. He approached a vending machine intending to purchase a drink, only to learn that he was standing at a bait vending machine. I kid you not.
Oh, and in an attempt to guarantee the MO lock, I'll remind you that we not only gave you Rush Limbaugh, but also this guy, who lost his Senate bid to a dead man.
Beat THAT, Virginia!
I realize that I'm becoming a nuisance, but this is just too easy. Today: MO parents' crusade against gay penguin books.
KS, you got nothin'.
Um, Florida. That's why I ran away. In addition to all of the crazy hurricanes over the past few years, Florida has weird religious people. And take a look at this, this, and this.
Oh, and for the record, Florida doesn't just have Governor Jeb Bush, but also his drugged-up offspring.
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*cough, cough* Schwarzanegger *cough, cough*
I think this cements it for Florida.
Justin, our governor doesn't even compare, and I thank you all for reminding me what goes on in those "other" states.
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